Friday, September 28, 2007

The Correlation Between Star Wars Espisode I and Software Development

Some time ago, I notice, during one of my many viewings of Star Wars Episode I "The Phantom Menace", how many quotes sounded like they came from the office. I started writing them down and it became freaky.

These are not meant to be cracks at anybody I've worked with or for, just enjoy them.

At the request of a friend of mine, here is the top ten:

#10 This is a battle I do not think that we can win.
-- Executives, in strategic discussion about the future of a desktop product.

#9 You must contact me!
-- Production operations, leaving a voice mail about a conference call to discuss the latest outage.

#8 But Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future. -
Not at the expense of the present.

-- A team, discussing the trade-off between meeting the deadline and doing it the right way.

#7 I need to speak to the Jedi Council. The situation has become much more complicated.
-- A manager, about to announce that a key staff member has resigned.

#6 I can only protect you, I can't fight a war for you.
-- Developers, pushing back on project managers about unrealistic deadlines being pushed down from upper management.

#5 I'm a Toydarian, mind tricks don't work on me. Only money.
-- A developer, responding to the notion that great benefits make up for lousy pay.

#4 A communications disruption can mean only one thing, invasion.
-- A developer, quickly making excuses during an outage, rather than investigating the problem.

#3 You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the force. You believe it's this... boy?
-- VP of Engineering, responding to excitement about the new graduate we just hired.

#2 Wipe them out... all of them.
-- Upper management, discussing how to proceed following the offshoring decision.

#1 Feel, don't think. Use your instincts.
-- The kickoff of yet another project without requirements documented.

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